Tag Archives: anxiety

5 Ways To Stop Caring About The Number Of “Likes” Your Posts Get

Your last profile picture on Facebook has received 64 likes so far.  13 people also commented that you were looking pretty darn hot in that selfie.

The sillouette photo of your family playing in the sunset got a huge response on Instagram. 85 hearts and counting. Half of those are from people you don’t even know!

Your latest rant on Twitter isn’t getting much feedback though. You are thinking about taking it down.

Since you last logged into the POF dating site, 53 new members said they want to “meet you” by clicking the green check mark under your photo, as they scrolled through many. You have 4 new messages in your inbox. You wonder how many of them are going to say how beautiful you are.

64, 13, 85, 53, 4.

We are a society obsessed with receiving validation from numbers via the Internet. Validation of our good looks, that our opinions are intelligent, that our philosophies are admirable, that we are living life in an impressive way.  The problem with all of this external validation, is that the positive feelings you get from it are short lived. Soon, you start craving more “likes” so you make another post. Or log into that dating site again.

For many of you out there, I would be willing to bet your internet behaviour is bordering on addiction. You need those “likes” to brighten your day, to feel good about yourself.  You might even feel anxious and low whenever you don’t receive them.

It isn’t healthy!

This is why I have made a New Year resolution to break my addiction to external validation, and work on building my feelings of self worth from the inside.  I have no idea how successful I will be,but here are my ideas on how I will achieve this goal:

5 Ways To Decrease Your Cravings For External Validation By Numbers On Social Media:

1.) Practice Random, Totally Secret Acts Of Kindness:

I had a psychology professor once question the class if we thought it was possible to commit a truly unselfish act. His argument was even when we do kind deeds for others, we get something back, praise and recognition.  But what if you do something good, completely anonymously and secretly? The only person who will ever know about it, is you? I have a feeling it would be a very rewarding, invigorating experience. Yes, an element of selfishness would still be there. But the positive feelings you would gain would run far deeper than 73 likes if you proclaimed your kind deed in your Facebook status. I think random, secret acts of kindness are an excellent way to build internal feelings of self worth. Why not give it a try?

2.) Keep A Private Journal, Photo Albums, or Scrapbooks:

You know you had an amazing time with your kids at the museum last week. You know you baked a darn delicious lasagna for your date, all the while looking spectacular in that new outfit. You know these things. Does anyone else really need to? Try documenting these memorable moments of your life the old fashioned way. In a diary, personal photo album or scrapbook.  Your memories deserve more than being scrolled by 300 people, ” liked” by a certain percentage, and forgotten 3 hours later. Honour your memories, for you. Perhaps share the odd one, but keep the majority for you. They are yours to treasure more than anyone else, after all.

3.) Pursue A Passion Or Learn A New Skill (Secretly):

Learning a new skill is a fantastic way to increase self esteem. Even better is doing it only for yourself, not to impress others. Do it just for you, because it is something you are passionately interested in. Go for that amazing run without telling a soul. Paint that picture and frame it, just for you. Speak that new language to yourself in he shower.  Honour your achievements by holding them dear.  Don’t cheapen it by making it the newsfeed post of the day.

4.) Limit Your Time Spent On Social Media:

The best way to depend less on something is to distance yourself from it.  If you find yourself craving a surge of social media attention, refrain from signing in. Limit your activity to an hour or so per day. Carry on with your life, in your physical being. Be mindful and present. Save screen time for a designated, small portion of your life. That’s really all it needs to be.

5.) Share Your Life With Your Most Beloved People: 

Have you ever had a loved one tell you they wished you told them something personally before you posted it on social media? Try making those close to you feel special by sharing your special photos, the highlights of your day only with them. It is bound to give you a deeper, longer lasting feeling of esteem and worthiness than 17 hearts on Instagram ever could. Not to mention, it will strengthen your relationship with your loved one by increasing intimacy and communication.

So, those are my strategies for decreasing my cravings for external validation by numbers on the Internet. I will let you know how it goes. I think this article is pretty darn good. I am going to try really hard to stay firm in that belief, without checking the number of likes it receives, or that Facebook share button. Please wish me luck with this. Deep Breath. Here I go!

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Thank you for reading!

Be Brave, and Talk

10 Ways To Repair An Injured Self Esteem

If you suffer mental illness, chances are pretty high that you also battle low self esteem. Self esteem is very hard to change.  It sure isn’t a matter of waking up one morning and deciding to love yourself. It takes a lot of conscious effort and perseverance, but it can be improved. Whether your self esteem has been damaged by traumatic life experience, a less than stellar upbringing, or the wear and tear of physical or mental illness, here are 10 things worth trying to help repair your injured self esteem.

 

1.) Spend Time Doing Things You Love: 

Doing what you love automatically makes you happy, which helps you feel better about everything, including yourself. The things you love doing are likely also the things you are good at. Be brave, and choose hobbies and work with your heart. You get one chance at this thing called life. You might as well spend it doing what you love, and being awesome at it.

2.) Use Social Media Wisely:

Participating in groups, making plans with friends, keeping in touch with loved ones are all positive ways social media can affect self esteem. Comparing your posts to others’ , or depending on a certain number of “likes” of your selfie or status update to feel good about yourself, or spending so much time on social media that you aren’t meeting your responsibilities, might not be so great.  When you log off of Facebook, ask yourself honestly if the time you just spent put your heart at ease, or made you feel low. Then adjust your habits accordingly. (Easier said than done, I know. But try! Try hard. You are worth it.)

3.) Help Others:

It’s hard not to feel good when your actions have improved someone else’s day/week/life. Just make sure the helping you do is on your own terms, and not the result of someone guilting/ pressuring/ taking advantage of you. The important thing here, is the acts of kindness you practice must be for people who will appreciate it, and done because you just really felt like doing it.

4.) Throw Negative Thoughts In The River:

If your self esteem is low, there are probably a lot of negative thoughts running through your head at any moment. When you catch them happening, visualize yourself physically taking those thoughts and throwing them into a fast flowing river. Picture them flowing far away from you, down the river. It might sound silly, but with practice this technique can become an effective tool to help fight the negative thoughts that torture you when your self esteem is low.

5.) List Evidence For/ Against:

If the river thing doesn’t work for you, try confronting negative thoughts head on, with logic. Maybe you think nobody likes you. Write that thought down. Then, list all of the evidence you have in favour of that statement, and all of the evidence against it. Think of everything! This should help you see that your negative self talk is not accurate, or logical.

6.) End Toxic Relationships:

This can be a tough one, but it’s vital for self esteem.  If you dread interacting with someone, if they put you on edge, if they treat you unfairly (directly or passively) the relationship is toxic, and you must get away from it. This takes a lot of courage, but if you can manage to let the person go, you will feel free and empowered.  Remove them from Facebook, delete their phone number from your phone. Walk away, and don’t look back. You NEVER have to entertain someone who brings you down. Cut that crap out of your life.

7.) Nurture Positive Relationships:

If someone makes you feel cared for, respected, listened to, important, hold on to them and never let them go.  Whether it’s a family member, friend or romantic partner, take time to show the people who make your life better that you care. Remind them how thankful you are for the things they do. And of course, spend quality time with them whenever you can.

8.) Take Care Of You:

It’s tough to feel good about yourself if you haven’t showered in a few days, or your toenails are an inch long. Eating nothing but chips and ice cream for 3 days is also not ideal for self esteem. Care for yourself as you would a newborn baby. Keep yourself clean, hydrated, nourished with healthy food. Make your environment comfortable and soothing. Moisturize your skin and floss your teeth. It takes effort, but the energy you put into caring for yourself is so worth it, because it comes out as improved self esteem.

9.) Forgive Yourself:

its way easier to say it than to do it, but you have got to move past your regrets and mistakes if you are ever going to have healthy self esteem. Admit to yourself that you messed up. Take whatever steps you can to correct things, then LET IT GO.  Promise yourself to learn from the experience, then leave it in the past. Agonizing over what you should have done, putting yourself down for wrongdoing is like poison to your heart. Forgive yourself. Yes, you have flaws, but so does everyone. You are worthy of forgiveness. You are worthy of love.

10.) Follow Your Heart:

If you suffer low self esteem, you likely try hard to make other people happy, at your own expense. Continually putting your needs and desires below someone else’s kills your identity. It drowns the fire deep inside that is who you are. Listen to what your heart feels. Muster up all the courage you have, and follow it. This is the only way you will ever figure out who the amazing, strong, loveable you truly is.

 

 

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Thank you for reading!

Be Brave, and Talk

Take It All In (Celebrate Earth Day)

 

 

Even though we’ve ravaged this majestic planet, miraculously, it’s beauty shines on.

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It’s no surprise that taking in the splendour of the sunset over crystal waves, hearing the leaves crunch under your feet as you explore the peaceful forest, feeling the thrill of ice cold water as you dive into the rippling lake are the most effective forms of relief for mental illness and stress.

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Being in nature quiets the cruel voices within. It soothes your soul with its splendour. It touches your heart with hope.  It ignites your will to live, and helps you see what truly matters in this existence.

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There is a whole lot of beauty in this world. Remember this. Appreciate this. Take it all in.

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When anxious breath catches in your throat, when irritability furrows your brow, when frustration clenches your fists, stop what you are doing and go outside.

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Because going outside is going HOME.

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Thank you for reading.

Be Brave, and Talk

 

 

 

 

Do You Experience A.S.M.R? ( Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response)

Although my grade 7 French class was often the most chaotic part of the school day, with students speaking out of turn and generally taking advantage of our kind, soft spoken teacher, for me it was the most relaxing time of day.

As the other students flirted, doodled in their notebooks, did anything but pay attention, I zoned right in on the lesson. This wasn’t just because I was ultra respectful, I must admit.

It was because the gentle sound of our teacher’s voice, the soothing way her delicate hand wrote on the chalkboard, her incredible focus despite all the disruption going on all made me feel profoundly relaxed. My scalp would tingle, and my shoulders would feel like I was getting a massage. Had my grade7 French class been longer than 40 minutes, it very well may have put me to sleep each day. Not because it was boring, but because it was blissfully peaceful and relaxing.

I didn’t tell anyone this of course. It seemed too bizarre. I didn’t want anyone to think I was a weirdo, getting pleasure from observing a sweet old lady write on a chalk board and talk.

It wasn’t until years later that I got my first opportunity to discuss this strange phenomenon with someone, and realize I was far from alone in my experience.  I suffer anxiety, and before I started taking medication I often had a lot of trouble falling asleep.  One night as I sat up surfing the Internet at 3 a.m. I noticed my brother was awake and online too. I started up a chat to complain about my insomnia, and he offered me amazing advice.

“You’re probably going to think this is really wierd, but try watching this. It’s super relaxing.”

He sent me a link to an instructional massage video by a lady called “Lita”. As I started watching, I realized my brother was right. The sound of her voice,  and watching the calm, focused manner of her massage gave me the same tingly, relaxing feeling I used to get during gr. 7 French class. After my brother and I exchanged a few humorous messages making fun of ourselves for enjoying watching someone else get massaged, I read through some of the video comments, and realized many others were experiencing the same sort of thing.

ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is defined as a distinct, pleasurable tingling sensation in the head, scalp, back or peripheral regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory or cognitive stimuli. So feeling tingly when someone brushes your hair, or whispers in your ear counts as ASMR. Triggers for ASMR vary slightly between those who experience it, and not everyone does experience it.

There isn’t a lot of scientific data available on ASMR yet, although a quick internet search will show you there are many anecdotal reports of it out there.

What interests me the most is how it can be used to help relieve anxiety, depression and insomnia. First of all, if you are lucky enough to experience ASMR, you will realize that when those sensations are being triggered, you automatically become mindful.  You totally focus on what you are hearing, seeing, feeling, because it feels so darn nice. Unpleasant feelings of sadness or anxiety are pushed away.  Watching videos designed to bring on ASMR can give great relief to someone suffering mental illness.  I think it’s a worthwhile place to start trying out being mindful for someone new to the practice.

I also do not believe its a coincidence that many common ASMR triggers involve someone giving some sort of care to another.  To be cared for is a universal need among animals.  It is also something that lacks in the lives of many who suffer mental illness. Perhaps indulging in some ASMR could encourage sufferers to put more effort into their own self care, or even to seek out care from others.

My goal for this article is to bring awareness to the topic of ASMR. It’s a real thing.  Although it’s not widely recognized, if you experience it, you are not strange, you are fortunate! I encourage you to explore how it can help you feel less anxious, less lonely and how it can help you relax enough to fall asleep. Check out the links below to see if ASMR can benefit you. Unlike alcohol, drugs, or other potentially harmful methods you might use to cope, this is 100% safe. It is certainly worth a try!

http://www.last.fm/music/ASMR

http://www.tingle.fm/mobile web/channels/

http://www.asmrlab.com

http://www.m.youtube.com/watch?v=UedaJPNGzoo

Also search “Disney Collector”  videos on You Tube.

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Thank you for reading!

Be Brave, and Talk

Holidays Aren’t Happy For Everyone…And That Should Be Okay

Waking before dawn, sneaking into your siblings’ room to whisper excitedly about what special treasures you might soon find hidden downstairs.

Snuggling on the couch with a full belly, surrounded by the comforting sound of loved ones’ laughter.

Photographs flashing.

Wine glasses clinking.

Wishing time would pass just a little more slowly, so you could take it all in, relish it, savour it.

Holidays come and go quickly, as all special occasions seem to. But for some, this coming and going can’t happen fast enough.

Waking before dawn, your stomach sinking with dread as you remember the day ahead will be filled with forced smiles, the hiding of shaking hands, and drinks taken in secret.

Clutching your blankets, breathing deep to hold back the nausea, as you long for the comfort of your lost loved one’s laughter.

Photograph avoiding.

Wine glass refilling.

Wishing time could just skip over this day, so you wouldn’t have to put on an act, so you could avoid the guilt, escape the pain.

Holidays come and go quickly, as all special occasions seem to. But there are people out there who would rather the holidays didn’t come at all.

Perhaps it’s because they grieve a great loss which only gets highlighted when the holidays arrive. But they endure it with a smile so they don’t make anyone else uncomfortable.

Perhaps they suffer anxiety in silence and feel overwhelmed and exhausted by pretending they’re okay throughout the flurry of family activity.

Perhaps they suffer depression, and attend holiday events out of obligation. Expectations to enjoy and be happy force their face into a smile, but inside their feelings of guilt and self loathing only grow.

Whatever the reason, wouldn’t it be nice if those who are unhappy come holiday time didn’t have to pretend?

Of course we have the best of intentions when we expect and encourage full, enthusiastic participation in holiday events, when we wish everyone a “Merry Christmas”,  we certainly don’t mean to make anyone feel bad.

We just need a little more awareness.

We just need a little more acceptance.

We just need a little more openness and honesty.

Although we’ve made progress, our society still feels rather uncomfortable being open about things that aren’t sunshine and roses, and this is especially true at holiday time.  And what do we do when we’re uncomfortable? We judge, we avoid, we ignore. This makes things much harder than they have to be for people who are grieving or suffering mental illness.

Pretending is exhausting. Pretending is lonely. Pretending makes you feel ashamed of your reality.

Let’s take the pressure off holiday happiness.

Let’s ask honest questions about how loved ones are feeling.

Let’s extend invitations that are truly optional, and come with alternative plans for later.

Let’s acknowledge our loved ones’ struggles with respect and empathy.

Although we can’t make things all better, we sure can make the holidays easier by being real. Not everyone loves holidays. And that is okay.

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Thank you for reading.

Be Brave, and Talk

What Social Anxiety Feels Like: “The Grocery Store”

I lie face down on a sunny patch on John’s man room carpet.  I massage my forehead, to try to relieve the dull ache.  Dora The Explorer plays upstairs, as Megan enjoys her quiet time. Over the baby monitor, I hear Tara roll over and sigh dreamily.

My whole body hurts, as if I’m coming down with the flu. I’m so tired of feeling like this, I really need to call the doctor about adjusting my medication.  I’ve been telling myself this for weeks now. Maybe on Monday I will be brave and actually call.

“So are you ready to go?” John crouches down and rubs my back. I blink back tears. He doesn’t notice.

“Yep.” As I struggle to my feet, my thoughts flash from a facebook “some cards” joke (Motherhood: when a trip to the grocery store alone is like going on vacation.) to a vision of stabbing myself in the stomach. I am so incredibly weak, and so pathetically selfish. (What is wrong with you? You have two beautiful daughters, a loving husband. You better start enjoying them, start enjoying life, or something is going to happen to take it all away. Grave illness. Car accident. Divorce. And you will deserve it.)

I slip into my coat, put my hands in my pockets, grip my hand sanitizers. One for each hand. They give me a brief moment of comfort.

“Have fun,” John chuckles and kisses my cheek.

“Thanks,” I manage a smile, and head out into blinding white.

In the car I turn the music on full blast, because after all, I can. I sing along. I take deep breaths. I mutter a few prayers that the girls will be safe while I’m gone.

As I drive into the parking lot, my stomach sinks and my heart starts beating faster.  I feel angry, and at the same time I feel guilty for feeling angry. Saturday. Far too many people here. I contemplate going right back home, but I cant. We need food, damn it.

I speed walk into the store. I try to breathe slowly, to relieve my increasing dizziness. As I frantically manoeuvre my cart through the produce section, flashing polite/ apologetic smiles at the other shoppers, I realize I am much better off when I bring the girls with me.  They help me stay focused. They help me see through the fog that now clouds my brain.  They give me someone to talk to. They make me brave. Right now, I am scared. Scared I will run into someone with my cart. Scared the women with highlighted hair and stylish boots look down upon my Joe Fresh jogging pants. Scared I will catch a disease from opening fridge doors.  Scared everyone can tell I feel like I’m going to pass out.

As  I race for the aisle with the laundry detergent, I long for my precious daughters to be here with me.  Saying hi to the old ladies and making them smile. Dropping stuff on the floor. I wish I could breathe in the scent of baby shampoo from their hair, kiss their foreheads. Ironically, this would be for my own reassurance.

Mercifully, I make it to the checkout line without losing consciousness. I take some deep breaths, silently say a few prayers for protection against the grocery store germs as I wait.

A pretty blond woman and her two teenage sons are waiting in line behind me. They see someone they know the next line over and start chatting. Everyone else around us who waits seems impatient, or perhaps it is just me.

My turn comes. I catch my breath as the service clerk who helps bag the groceries goes on break before helping me.  There are a lot of people waiting behind me. I must get my groceries bagged. Fast. My hands tremble. My armpits sweat. The cashier starts helping me bag the groceries, and for some reason this embarrasses me. The pretty blond lady and her sons, preoccupied by their conversation, have advanced too far in line, and block the interac machine. One of the teenage sons hovers over me as I clumsily stuff groceries into bags. I am on the verge of panicking.

I awkwardly ask ask the mother with twins to back up so I can pay. I’m so dizzy, it’s as if I am drunk.

“Hey, no problem at all. It’s all good.” The teenage boy who had been hovering gives me a sincere smile. He’s a lovely young man, and he’s my undoing. I stare through my tears at the pin pad.  It takes an eternity for the payment to go through.  I want to smile at the pretty blond woman and her sons as I leave, but I fear my tears will overflow. I look down, and briskly push my cart away.

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Thank you for reading.

Be Brave, and Talk

You’ve Got This

The alarm goes off, you slap at the snooze. You must stop that sound, so startling, so intrusive, so irritating. You roll over and stretch as memories of yesterday, of the week that has just passed come back to you.  You’ve been having a very tough time lately.  Days have been mere obstacles to drag yourself through.  Every action has been a chore, every smile has been hollow and forced. Chaos has seemed to spontaneously build all around you. You’ve been trying very hard to chip away at it, but mostly it has just overwhelmed you, made you want to give up.

The alarm makes you jump again, you knock it off the bedside table. Your hands are ice cold despite the layer of blankets that cover you.  You curl into a ball, grip your knees to stop your shaking. Please, please, please start coming out if it today.  Please, please, please let that spark of light come back on today. Please, just grab on to something to stop this free fall into darkness.

You need your soul back.

Depression is torture, depression is a thief. Fortunately, it has mercy on you every once in a while.

So you rise out of bed and pray today will be the day. You splash cold water on your face to clear the grogginess away.

You’ve got this.

Today might be better, it also might not be.  You did not choose this brutal opponent, you did not ask it to steal your soul.

But one thing you do choose each and every day is to fight.

You are the most mighty kind of warrior.

Your muscle is your heart.

Your weapon is your will.

You’ve got this.

Your opponent has made you strong.  Sooner or later, you’re going to win a round.

You’ll see the beauty of the world around you once again. The relief will be enormous. Your smile will run deep into your reunited soul.

Depression is torture. Depression is a thief.

But when it leaves you, it leaves you with the gift of gratitude.

Keep fighting. Your turn to win is coming.

You’ve got this.

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Thank you for reading.

Be Brave, and Talk

Protection Or Freedom?

Your mind only remembers every once in a while.  But your heart never forgets.  It happened. It affected you. It affects you still.  It was the kind of thing that when it’s taking place, you have a hard time believing it’s true.  The kind of thing that belongs in movies, or a novel, or broadcast on the news.

Your mind only remembers every once in a while, in silence, you keep it locked within. It’s the kind of thing that if they knew, you would hang your head in shame.  The kind of thing that would make them squirm, or leave, or think you’re the one to blame.

So you bear it alone. You do the appropriate thing. You carry on, you are strong, it’s behind you. Look how far you’ve come, look how much you’ve grown.  The past is the past. It’s locked deep within.

It’s for your protection

from judgement, from fear of rejection, vulnerability and shame.

It’s the appropriate thing.

There’s nothing more to be said.

But why does your heart feel such dread?

Outside you shine on. Face the day now, come on! Be your best you. Do the appropriate thing. It’s for your protection.

But more importantly,  it’s for their protection.

Their protection.

You follow the rules. You avoid. You pretend.

No drama. No truth. At least not the awkward, painful kind.

Your mind only remembers every once in a while. But your heart never forgets. It happened. It affected you. It affects you still.  It’s the kind of thing you shouldn’t have to carry alone, shouldn’t have to deny it is true. The kind of thing that can heal if it’s set free, and if others help carry it with you.

It’s for your freedom. You need it to find peace.

Truth. The only appropriate thing.

It’s for your freedom. And theirs.

Be brave. Truth can set your heart free.

 

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Thank you for reading.

Be Brave, and Talk

How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You: 5 Ideas

You watch your coworker as he speaks to the group. You don’t hear a word he says. Your turn is coming, and you are terrified.  Everyone’s ideas are going to be better than yours.  Your voice is going to shake, so will your hands.  You will probably turn beet red, or worse, you will get that blotchy red rash going on. Oh, so attractive.  The inside of your mouth is a desert. You try to breathe slowly to keep your heart from pounding right out of your chest.   Why, oh why must you be so afraid of what others think of you all the time?

Anxiety, in all its forms can be a very hard thing to deal with.  It can be downright debilitating. There is hope though. You can work hard at changing your thought patterns to lessen the symptoms of anxiety, and to free yourself from the nagging worry that often occurs after anxiety provoking events.

Here are 5 ides to help you cope:

1.) Realize that humans by nature are self absorbed:

They are far more concerned with the details of their own lives, and what your opinion is of them,  than what they think about you. Consider yourself, and you’ll know this is true.  Unless you burn with hatred for someone, or are madly in love, you really don’t spend very much time thinking about any one person.  As you fret, going over conversations in your head, wondering if someone hates you, there is a very high chance that they aren’t thinking about you at all. Try your best to remember this.

2.) Throw those thoughts in the river:

Every time you catch yourself stewing over someone’s opinion of you, take a deep breath, close your eyes and visualize a river, or a train. Picture the movement of the river or train, and picture yourself holding the nagging thought in your hands. Then, inside your mind, throw the thought into the river, or train, and watch it travel away. This might sound silly to you, but give it a try. I learned this technique from my therapist, and with practice, I found it to be quite helpful.

3.) Challenge your thoughts in a journal (and when you get good at it, in your mind.):

Write whatever troubling thought you have down on paper. Then, write all of the evidence you have for this being true (Do you even have any?) and all of the evidence you have  against this being true. In the against section, make a good long list of positive things others have said to you, and positive things you know to be true about yourself.  Cancel all of the negative thoughts out with lots of positives.  Try to think about the situation as someone on the outside would. Hopefully, this will help you realize most of the negative thoughts come from your imagination.

4.) Accept that you do not have the power to read minds:

No matter how much you analyze, no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to know for sure what someone else is thinking. It is a terrible waste of energy. I know it’s a habit that’s hard to stop, but it is definitely worth a try. When a thought crosses your mind, ask yourself, “Am I trying to mind read?” And realize you might as well be trying to soar through the air like Superman.

5.) Consider the worst case scenario, and then search your heart to decide if it truly matters:

So maybe that lady you bumped into at the mall does think you’re an idiot. Maybe that coworker was laughing at your blotchy face as you did your presentation. But really, what do these people actually mean to your life? Are they going to be on your mind when your time here on earth draws to a close?  Do these people, and their opinions matter in the big picture of your existence?

“Be yourself, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Dr. Seuss was a very wise man.

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Thank you so much for reading.

Be Brave, and Talk

You Did Enough Today

You look over at your children and your heart sinks.  Today was a beautiful day. You should have taken them outside to breathe in the fresh air, to run, to play. You didn’t though. You told yourself  that your oldest was still recovering from the flu, and she needed to rest. That wasn’t it though. The truth is that you just didn’t have the energy, the focus, the resolve. The day slipped away, and you wandered through it feeling lost, confused, empty.  You left the laundry undone. You left the floor unswept. You left the rug unvaccuumed.  You left those emails unsent.  The day slipped away, and you wasted it, doing nothing.

At least that’s what you think.  I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. You did more than enough today.

You prepared your children 3 healthy meals.

You wiped hands and faces.

You celebrated with your 2 year old at her success with using the potty.

You celebrated with your 4 year old at her success with reading her sight words.

You kissed boo boos better.

You taught the importance of being gentle.

You taught the importance of good sharing, again, and again, and again.

You put on silly sunglasses and danced with your daughters.

You blew bubbles inside the house,  just to see them smile.

You gave gentle kisses and tight hugs.

You made your children feel loved.

You made your children feel loved.

Although your head was dizzy, and your vision was blurred, you never lost sight of what really mattered. You never lost your grip on what you truly love.

That is something to feel awfully proud of.

Tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that, the sun will shine again.  You will have the energy, the focus, the resolve, and you will take your children outside to play. The laundry will get done, the floors will get swept, those emails will get sent.

It  didn’t happen today, but that is okay.

You tried your very best.

You fought with all your might.

You made sure your children felt loved.

And that’s all that truly matters.

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Thank you for reading.

Be Brave, and Talk.